I never thought I was a prideful person. When I thought of someone who was prideful, I thought of someone excessively arrogant, dripping with sarcasm, and literally having their nose in the air. 

If you had asked me a year ago if I was prideful, I would have said no. But after my life fell apart (lost job, lost house, lost father), I asked God what he wanted me to learn from this difficult time. 

The answer surprised me. I needed to deal with my pride. You see, if I would have accepted one of those low paying jobs I was offered, I would have had a job, and I would not have lost my house. I arrogantly didn’t even apply for those jobs. 

My Way is the Best Way 

I have had a plan for my life. Which jobs to take, where to live, who to date, I am in control ... or so I’d like to think. When we feel like we are in control and we are calling the shots, it feels good. It feels secure. But it is a false security. True security comes from trusting in God, which isn’t easy. We know what should come next when we follow our plan. Sometimes following God’s plan means not knowing the next step. It means possibly taking a risk. Trust comes in knowing that it is all for our good, our benefit. 

Trust doesn’t mean passivity or sitting back and doing nothing. If there is work to be done, do it. Even if there isn’t work to be done. We should all be engaged in P & P – good old-fashioned prayer and praise. 

The Santa Claus Effect 

Like many Americans, I needed God to fit into my life, instead of making Him the center of mine. I kept God in a box and brought that beautifully adorned box out when I needed it. It didn’t occur to me that I need to follow God, He doesn’t follow me. Thinking that I was in control was the ultimate in pride. 

As a little girl, I believed in Santa. I made a list, and it was his job to get the items I wanted. Basically, what Karyn wanted, Karyn got (one could say that Karyn was a little spoiled). On Christmas morning, Santa never disappointed. 

I stopped believing in Santa; but God became the deity that could and would make my dreams come true. According to the prosperity preachers I followed at the time, all I had to do was give some money and believe. With money in hand, God was there to do my bidding. 

Talk about pride. Believing that God worked for me was definitely prideful. 

I’m Worth It 

I told myself that I was better than that. I believed I was better than that. I stood on my resume, and my experience. I knew I was good, and I knew that anyone who hired me would benefit by having someone like me on their staff and on their payroll. So, of course, I should have top compensation. I’m not a novice. I have years of experience behind me. I have a portfolio of solid work examples. 

Look at the paragraph above. What do you notice? I used the word ‘I’ 12 times. Me/Myself/My was used six times. It was all about me! Was there any mention of God? Did I give Him any credit for the talents and opportunities that He had bestowed on me? Nope. It was me touting my worth based on the work I’d done. Sounds prideful to me. 
 
I Deserve It 

Related to being worth it, is being deserving of more and of better. Whereas my worth was based on my what I had done and what I had; what I deserved was based on what I went through and what I had endured. I deserved more after being passed over for promotions. I was entitled to more, dealing with bully bosses and making bad bosses look good. Going in early, staying late, - yes, I deserved to make more money. 

Again, resting on my own laurels and wanting credit for what I’ve done for me. While I wanted to say that I wasn’t prideful, it was becoming clear that I was. 

What God Has to Do with It? 

So far, I was worth more money, and I deserved more money. Less wasn’t an option. You see, I had plans. I prayed to God and He was supposed to cosign my plans. It was His job, wasn’t it? After all, I had a plan. I knew what needed to happen, all He had to do was agree and snap His fingers. 

 So Now What? 

When I laid out the evidence, it was clear as day. It was about me, what I wanted, my plan, and God doing my bidding. I was prideful. 

How do I change? Here are five things to do: 

1. Ask, Don’t Direct: I started asking God to direct my path and to direct me in the way I should go. 
2. Wait: A friend of mine likes to say, we like to use the microwave but God prefers the slow cooker. A lot of times, it takes time to get an answer or to see a change. 
3. Don’t Assume: Do not make the assumption that your way is best or your way is the only way. God is limitless, He sees all. He knows all. He is all powerful. He is not limited like we are. 
4. Have Faith: It is easy when you don’t see things happening in front of your eyes to assume that God has forgotten you. Remember He is working on your behalf even when you don’t see Him. As Romans 8:28 says, All things work together for good to those that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose. 
5. Do It Now: When you do hear from God, don’t hesitate. Act! Don’t overthink it or second guess it, go ahead and follow down the road He has illuminated. 

When we act pridefully, we put our needs in front of God. We assume that we know best and that God should follow our leads. When we respond pridefully, we forget that the Lord “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.”